emotionalinertia

Shakuhachi

2012-02-01T16:37:00.000-08:00

Gorgeous.

In For The Kill

2012-01-29T04:31:00.000-08:00

Dinner at Aburiyatei with the boyfriend's family to celebrate mama Wang's birthday + Phuture.

Turning Tables

2012-01-28T15:23:00.000-08:00

5 months and going strong.

More pics in my dslr. Glad that the g12 is ready for collection.

The harshness in people leaves me speechless.

JC x The Damned

2012-01-25T12:21:00.000-08:00

Can't decide if I love or hate the idea of a clear Lita but Shadow is definitely an overkill.

Sea Within A Sea

2012-01-24T13:15:00.000-08:00

Saying goodbye to sleep while I stay up to do my 3D with my iTunes on shuffle.

Wish me luck in school tomorrow.

Blessed

2012-01-24T12:50:00.000-08:00

1. Shane bestfriend and I stuck Ken's photos on the boards at the basement.

2. Attica.

3. The boyfriend's black on black shirt I got for him from Heist.

4. Reunion dinner at Grandpa's.

5. Watching the boys play dota.

6. Watching the boys play poker.

7. Watching over the boyfriend while he naps on my lap.

8. Dinner at Kamen's.

First CNY with the boyfriend.

Wouldn't wanna spend it with anyone else.

Happy CNY everyone!

LOL

2012-01-19T09:19:00.000-08:00

B i t c h , p l e a s e.

One Red Thread

2012-01-19T03:53:00.000-08:00

Got news from Canon that the parts to fix my g12 will take up to 2-3 weeks to arrive. Can't get any more depressing than that.

Present

2012-01-15T05:55:00.000-08:00

Everything is more beautiful...

...You will never be lovelier than you are now.

Forget the hurt.

Embrace the joy.

Flux

2012-01-14T13:11:00.000-08:00

Weekend.

Stars

2012-01-14T03:58:00.001-08:00

The only person in the whole entire world who constantly tells me that I am pretty and that I am the best girlfriend he has ever have.

Sole Soul

2012-01-12T14:21:00.000-08:00

Setting aside a shoe fund with my daily cab money.

By June 2012.

Because ugly shoes are a global issue.

Simple Things

2012-01-12T05:01:00.000-08:00

Finally sent my g12 for repair.

The week flew by just like that.

Can't wait to start on my 2D work : Literature x Typography.

I love Literature.

We Are The People

2012-01-10T03:27:00.000-08:00

Back to school.

Ps. Follow me on Twitter and Instagram! @alissayz

I'm Waking Up To Us

2012-01-07T15:17:00.000-08:00

Room service (sucked) with silver looking plastic utensils and champagne at Studio M with the boyfriend.

Happy New Year : 2012

2012-01-01T11:49:00.000-08:00

New year's eve at Laguna ( thank you daddy ). Spent the end of my 2011 in tears, and the start of my 2012 sobbing. Overall, a rather fucked up beginning to a brand new year but I hope it'll all get better as I put your past and my past entirely behind. No more brooding over what once was because I was so emotionally drained last night, I wanted the world to stop.

Looking forward to better days ahead.

2-0-1-1

2011-12-30T14:34:00.000-08:00

Because my g12's is fucked right before the new year...

Thank god for my dslr.

Anyway, happy new year's eve everyone. A new beginning awaits us.

Ps. Pardon my fat face and falling lashes.

Embracing 2011

2011-12-30T02:59:00.000-08:00

Highlights of 2011

Laneway ( Rainway ) Festival at Fort Canning.

*Photo credits to Russe and Tara.

Breaking my clubbing virginity at Designer Drugs @ Zouk.

My 18th at Zouk.

Inked.

Getting into LASALLE.

Two Door Cinema Club at Esplanade.

" Every once in a while, you meet someone who's iridescent, and nothing else can compare. "

In 2011, I found myself constantly learning to do more than just exist. I've cared less about what matters to people and started caring about what matters to me. Like every year, I've made new friends, kept old ones close to my heart. I've bid goodbye to the once extremely awkward and shy self. Had my fill of being happy, and then incredibly depressed the next. Met the one person whom I'm willing to spend as long as infinity is with. I've made so many mistakes and learned so many lessons in return. In a way, I've became more responsible for myself, my thoughts, and my emotions. I don't wish for anything else in the new year, except for me to learn to love myself because the way things are right now, I wouldn't mind soaking myself in it for a little longer.

Everybody Loves ' Ramen '

2011-12-29T11:33:00.000-08:00

Tried the much raved about Ippudo at Mandarin Gallery the other night with my food-critic of a boyfriend which claims that the close to 40 minutes we spent queuing was worthwhile because this ramen was better than our go-to ramen stall - Ramen Santouka at The Central. I preferred the latter though. Determined to try every single ramen stall worth trying in the new year!

Boon Tong Kee for two.

Skinny Pizza = truffle fries. Otherwise, blah.

Baby Its Cold Outside

2011-12-25T05:16:00.000-08:00

Eve of Christmas Eve at Velvet Underground/Phuture.

All I Want For Christmas

2011-12-25T04:19:00.000-08:00

1. Sweetest shandy ever at LeVeL33.
2. Favorite fish porridge along River Valley.
3. Boyfriend's horfun at favorite fish porridge along River Valley.
4. Beer at Sauce.
5. Christmas eve rosti.
6. Facial masks with our switched hoodies.

Is you.

Eat That Up, It's Good For You ll

2011-12-19T00:10:00.000-08:00

Food spammage because I'm on a diet.

We Go Forward

2011-12-18T12:41:00.000-08:00

Random pictures at random places at random moments from a random Blackberry.

Bleeding Heart

2011-12-18T07:39:00.000-08:00

Phuture/Grand Hollywood.

My weekend.

Ps. I lost my favorite bracelet and I cannot stop crying. My right wrist feels so empty now. So does my heart.

Sound Of Settling

2011-12-18T06:11:00.000-08:00

Transatlanticism on repeat. My favorite a year ago, still my favorite now.

Been awhile since I've felt so solemn and calm. Might be the rainy weather. Might be all the thoughts that can't stop gushing in as I lie on my bed alone, staring as the water droplets hits my window and slides down slowly.

Its a lie when I say I don't remember. Because I can. Every little detail. Maybe that's why there's so much hurt. So much accumulated pain. Because those little things just doesn't go away. They stay with me forever. Maybe that's why when I cry, I don't stop. The tears just keeps coming, like the memories.

I used to be a mess, a wreck. Emotionally. I'm insecure, I'm paranoid, I'm sensitive, I over-think. Its a vicious cycle that keeps haunting me.

I can say that I have changed a lot this year. For the better I hope. And I'm embracing the unchangeable fact that the new year is coming. I must not live in regret when the clock strikes twelve on the 31st.

Let bygones be bygones, Alissa? After all, the past is nothing compared to what the future has for me, for us.

Shoes For Less

2011-12-09T01:16:00.000-08:00

Shoe sale over at shopinertia!

P/S : Will update with more stuff by next week!

For Only

2011-12-05T10:39:00.000-08:00

2027 : Only a mere 3 hours -ish since the boyfriend left my place after me staying over at his for two nights and him staying over at mine for two nights. Oh how I miss you already...

Come to think of it, we have pretty much been inseparable ever since the beginning.

Maybe More

2011-12-03T16:02:00.000-08:00

We could go so many places together, do so many things.

0813 : Anticipating the sun to set, the stars and the moon to shine. Just to be by your side.

Apathy

2011-12-01T10:15:00.002-08:00

This is why she conversed with the stars : Any answers they gave were already dust.

Soul Meets Body

2011-11-28T03:44:00.000-08:00

“It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.”

But I found it in you.

Thanksgiving 2011

2011-11-27T21:54:00.000-08:00

Post assessment fun with my school mates at Neverland on Friday.

I know I am a few days late, but I still have to give thanks to such an amazing year, with the most amazing people...

5 years and counting. They say ' IJ friends are friends for life '. So true, so true...

I recollect feeling so awkward and afraid on the first day of school even though I already knew a few people but there was this foreign feeling inside of me that's so scared of what is to come. They made me feel so much better day by day. Will never survive school without them.

And my dear kenken, waking up next to your warm body, and your face, is the best feeling I once could only hope for.

To the best year ever.

Three Cheers

2011-11-26T15:42:00.000-08:00

It has been 65 days but it feels like this thing we have could go on forever. Even though we fight, even though we argue over the stupidest things, somehow, at the end of the day, my love for you becomes stronger than before. Honestly, I have never thought I would find someone like you - who will accept for who I am. My whole life, I have been constantly telling myself " you are not very pretty, you are not very bright " ( Cinderella Story reference? ) but for some weird reason that I will never be able to comprehend, what I am is sufficient for you. Our journey has only just started and I look forward to the many more months till infinity with you. No one ( or guy ) has ever made me as happy as you make me.

I love you so much.

II

2011-11-14T10:04:00.000-08:00

" When we hold each other, in the darkness, it doesn’t make the darkness go away. The bad things are still out there. The nightmares still walking. When we hold each other we feel not safe, but better. “It’s all right” we whisper, “I’m here, I love you.” and we lie: “I’ll never leave you.” For just a moment or two the darkness doesn’t seem so bad. "

Hold On Till The Night

2011-11-14T10:03:00.000-08:00

“Sometimes when you’re young you think nothing can hurt you. It’s like being invincible. Your whole life is ahead of you and you have big plans. Big Plans. To find your perfect match, the one who completes you. But as you get older you realize it’s not always that easy. It’s not until the end of your life that you realize how the plans you made were simply plans. Because at the end when you’re looking back instead of forward you want to believe you made the most of what life gave you. You want to believe you’re leaving something good behind. You want it all to have mattered.”

Headlights Look Like Diamonds

2011-11-07T09:52:00.000-08:00

Bullet my weekend...

Clubdolls with girlfriends and the boyfriend
Hair got stuck at the fence outside Zouk
The Crazies at the boyfriend's
Cuddle with the boyfriend
Sleeping in
Watching the boyfriend get his haircut
Dinner with the boyfriend's parents at Friends @Jelita
Car crash outside Paragon
Zouk with the boyfriend and his friends
Home
Sleeping in
Boyfriend's house for some champagne showers
Home cooked food by the boyfriend's mom ( yum )
Drunk moments at the boyfriend's
Supper at West Coast Plaza's HK cafe with the boyfriend ( drunk )
Inability to sleep due to guilt for not doing any work ( drunk )
Home cooked food round 2 by the boyfriend's mom
Artfriend to get my canvases with the father
Missing the boyfriend

Stay Close

2011-11-02T18:05:00.000-07:00

What I'd do to have you near.

Love Is A Wave

2011-10-30T08:03:00.000-07:00

For you I'll bleed myself dry.

Over Ghost

2011-10-30T05:44:00.000-07:00

Halloween in 3 hours time and this is the second year I'm skipping it. Feeling rather sad because I know I have not outgrown dressing up and trick or treating but its just....different....

Might dress up to school tomorrow. Look out for an undead IJ girl if I do.

Happy Halloween guys. Have fun while I try to get some work done.

Heart Of Chambers

2011-10-22T04:07:00.000-07:00

You make me feel beautiful on the inside.

Infinite Arms

2011-10-21T00:07:00.000-07:00

Your love keeps me going.

I'll Hold My Breath

2011-10-16T04:02:00.000-07:00

I feel, of late, typically ‘depressed’ - I feel dazed, as though I’m living under a film, a second skin. What once enthralled me now holds no attraction; I am bored, so bored, and I feel as though I have lost myself. I know this will pass, but the danger lies in fucking everything up for myself when I feel like I don’t care about anything. Because I’ll come out of it, if only for a short time, to find I’ve unwittingly self-sabotaged, distanced myself from people. I hate being stuck by myself, with my thoughts and anxiety. I have let myself become a burden, and I’ve let that burden fall under the shoulders of those I love. I just need to try, even when I feel like this, try to actively make my life better; find a way to be sustainably ‘happy’. I need to motivate myself, because I’ve learnt from mistakes past, and there’s no point worrying without doing something about it.

Sweet Road

2011-10-09T13:31:00.000-07:00

Snuggled up under my blanket and in your hoodie. Smiling to myself at the thought of how we came about.

New week. 35 more days to assessment.

Let's do this together.

Forever And Always

2011-10-07T13:51:00.000-07:00

You and me = forever and always.

P.S : I miss reading.
PP.S : I have A LOT of work to do.
PPP.S : I miss the boy already.....

The Way It Is

2011-10-03T22:09:00.000-07:00

Absence does not make the heart grow fonder.

It magnifies my fear of losing you.

Without You

2011-10-02T15:20:00.000-07:00

Because I love you so much, it doesn't matter if I hurt.

It doesn't matter if I cry, because I love you so much.

Your Skin And Bones

2011-09-30T14:48:00.000-07:00

Look at the stars,
look how they shine for you and all the things you do.

Science Of Fear

2011-09-29T12:26:00.000-07:00

Feeling as if I have hit rock bottom. Drowning myself with assignments seem like a good thing because at the very least I am getting some work done but this temporary ignorance is only short-lived. How long before I break completely?

I don't even know what is wrong.

You & I

2011-09-27T14:53:00.000-07:00

I am never letting you go.

In The Flowers

2011-09-26T13:56:00.000-07:00

27.

I love you.

Naked

2011-09-26T13:53:00.000-07:00

My completely bare face and an attempt at doing a wink last night before the mother took my favorite hoodie with my favorite scent and sent it to the washer....

Derail And Crash

2011-09-24T01:46:00.000-07:00

Prelude to a horrible night.

The series of unfortunate events that took place last night was definitely a record.

Dark

2011-09-21T06:14:00.000-07:00

The darkest my hair has ever been - dark brown + red dip dye. Wished the red was lighter though. Might lighten it soon.

K

2011-09-20T10:40:00.000-07:00

Together to ∞, just like the ink on left wrist.

Right?

Invisible

2011-09-17T04:33:00.000-07:00

I am a vessel without substance. How I feel as of this moment is as if someone who used to care, don't anymore. Vacant. Unwanted. Empty.

Smells Like Freedom

2011-09-16T01:58:00.000-07:00

Project Week = more sleep

Glad.

Me And The Moon

2011-09-12T23:46:00.000-07:00

I am starting to believe that the effects of Red Bull is a myth.

Black Hat

2011-09-11T23:32:00.000-07:00

1 of those days.

Felt So Crystal

2011-09-11T13:13:00.000-07:00

Always had the impression when people mentioned ' Birdy ' that it was just some small kid on Youtube trying their best to sing but I was proven so wrong when I actually took the time to google her. Though no one can ever do a song as good as Bon Iver's Skinny Love ( because he's a god ), I found myself hitting the replay button on my iTunes when it came to Birdy's cover. Her voice...is just so beautiful...

&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;

You Make Me Feel asdfghjkl

2011-09-05T11:30:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, I wished I love myself more than I hate myself...

But being with you, makes me forget about my insecurities for awhile.

**

2011-09-05T11:17:00.000-07:00

Inferiority complex part 2.

Who will love ~~you~~ me?
Who will fight?
Who will fall far behind?

*

2011-09-04T11:21:00.000-07:00

We all want what we can't have?

This Fire Grows Higher

2011-08-12T10:45:00.000-07:00

School has started to take its toll on me. It is only the third week of school and I already have so many assignments on hand. Can't imagine how its gonna be like when we really get into it even more. Nonetheless, I find myself feeling rather excited for the next day of school because school has never been so fun and fulfilling...

Let's Dance To Joy Division

2011-07-21T14:34:00.000-07:00

Got them at a steal from Rumi Neely. Let's hope it fits perfectly!

The Ice Is Getting Thinner

2011-07-21T08:51:00.000-07:00

“I think of us more as flowers in the attic. Paper flowers. Born so brightly colored, and fading duller through all those long, grim, dreary, nightmarish days…”

All The Lonely People

2011-07-21T08:36:00.000-07:00

It came to me like a nail in the eye and my brains spilled out of the ensuing cracks with temerity. The mind is a terrible thing to imprison behind the veils of illusion and delusion.

Love Less

2011-07-20T15:17:00.000-07:00

Let it burn.

Let me burn.

Psychobabble

2011-07-18T03:56:00.000-07:00

smoke in the air
saw nothing
even rebelliousness
not to mention his consciousness
twisting the spine
zuela shoes without
she wanted to fly
locked in his room
with strokes and dementia
newspaper thief
press
with desktop policy
with education and dams
wanted no more
smoke in the air
And in their mouth the sea
peace in his footsteps
sand in the beating
eyes sea sea
not to forget and forgive
not forgive and forget
your curves without more eloquently than his hands that knew and loved them loved them above all over from scratch without looking always cherish no desire to violate the dirt so marginal in a bar prostitute his heart to see the sea shooting is my desire to finish

Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Hell

2011-07-08T00:50:00.000-07:00

I am pretty shy, so it takes a lot of courage on my part to curl into somebody's mouth with my tongue uninvited. I keep thinking about the fact that I dislike myself for the same reasons that other people dislike me, and it is disappointing to realize that although sometimes I want to change, no matter how much I try, I am left with the despairing truth that I cannot be anyone other than myself, and that mostly I just have to swallow my own saliva in order to keep breathing and talking. I am not sure where this feeling comes from or where it is headed but I believe it has something to do with waking up in the morning, feeling alone and not knowing what I'm doing here.

How is it possible to put into words how much my heart hurts? I give up. This is all I've got, but its not enough. Its never enough for you, for me. There's no longer us because of what I've done, the way I am.

Rut

2011-07-01T17:54:00.001-07:00

My heart aches, my whole body aches. Here I am scared as hell, crying. Here I am, broken down and yet no one gives a shit. Here I am, regretting everything. Here I am fucking up as always.

But You've Got The Love I Need To See Me Through

2011-06-24T12:22:00.000-07:00

" While they like to talk everything through, to analyze and hypothesize, what I really need, what I'm really looking for, is not something I can articulate. Its's nonverbal : I need love. I need the thing that happens when your brains shuts off and your heart turns on.

And I know it's around me somewhere, but I just can't feel it.

What I do feel is the scariness of being alone in this huge loft. I'm sure that I have nowhere to run, that I can't even walk anywhere without tripping or falling way down, and I know I want out of this mess. I want out, No one will ever love me, I will live and die alone, I will go nowhere fast, I will be nothing at all. Nothing will work out. The promise that on the other side of all this lies a beautiful life, one worth surviving suicide for, will have turned out wrong. It will all be a big dupe. "

Eat That Up, It's Good For You

2011-06-23T11:19:00.000-07:00

A couple of food pictures from my Blackberry's camera taken over a period of six months.

Space-Bound

2011-06-20T15:43:00.000-07:00

The way he kisses my forehead. He holds my hands. He hugs me so tightly. He calls me jiggly. His smell. His speaker in his room that looks like a jelly fish morphing into a space shuttle. His crescent light on the ceiling. His bed. His everything.

Yet, I am not entirely sure of what I want. I know I want him. But it doesn't seem to be working well for the both of us. Or at least on my part. I am at fault for the lack of commitment, the lack of initiative and I just lack everything he wants in a girl. I just.....don't know what to do. Maybe I am just not ready. Never has been, never will. Maybe I am better off alone. I'm sorry for wasting your time all this while. I am not worthy of you. But please know that you'll always be my first even though I'm not yours. Take care.

Gotta Have You

2011-06-19T14:17:00.000-07:00

Need.

Eargasm

2011-06-17T15:20:00.000-07:00

Adele - Rolling In The Deep (Inquisitive's Mad Thrillin' Bootleg) by Inquisitive

Wreck

2011-06-16T05:02:00.000-07:00

Bruised/Physically/Emotionally

I'll need time to heal.

Dust To Dust

2011-06-12T05:36:00.000-07:00

Gone In Hiding

2011-06-10T09:59:00.001-07:00

Don't know why it is affecting me so much this time round but I really don't want to feel anymore. I am so tired.

To The Basement People, To The Basement

2011-06-09T20:31:00.000-07:00

Guess who's going for TDCC on August 11? Better yet, Tara got us cat 1 row B seats!

Change Is Only Constant

2011-06-09T09:14:00.000-07:00

I am bored of the way I look.

New Read : Haruki Murakami

2011-06-08T04:50:00.000-07:00

I am kinda loving the way everything is right now. Quiet. Everything seems to be falling into place and I'm a really happy girl. Anyway, I just made another mix on 8tracks,

Set Fire To The Rain - Adele
Rolling In The Deep - Adele
Sunlight - Bag Raiders
3 Rounds And A Sound - Blind Pilot
Dreaming With A Broken Heart - John Mayer
We Are The People - Empire Of The Sun
I Will Follow You Into The Dark - Death Cab For Cutie
The Scientist - Coldplay
Crystalized - The XX

Adele is beyond amazing.....

Suebee

2011-05-23T14:27:00.000-07:00

So, anyway I have been listening to a lot of music lately while doing my work. These are just a few of my favorites if anyone even cares,

I'll Hold My Breath - Ellie Goulding
Sadness Is A Blessing - Lykke Li

Down - Jason Walker
Meyrin Fields - Broken Bells
Down By The Water (HURTS Remix) - The Drums
Hey Jude - The Beatles
Transatlanticism - Death Cab For Cutie
Spacebound - Eminem

Enjoy!

Irony

2011-05-18T05:21:00.000-07:00

Right now, I feel like one of those freaks who is so miserable that they can't be around normal people, like I'm afraid I'll infect them with my sadness.

I am...

2011-04-21T13:22:00.000-07:00